Online Anonymity Boosts ‘Mommy-Shaming’, Harsh Advice

"Mommy-shaming" is one of the latest buzz words in parenting – the act of criticizing or berating a mother for the way she is parenting her child or children. Topics that seem wont to bring "Mommy-shaming to a tilt" include breastfeeding; how a child is dressed; being a working mom, etc. One mother was criticized for vaccinating her son, according to CBS News.

Parenting expert Tammy Gold told CBS that some let anonymity give them the confidence to say whatever they want to say. Gold says there are several ways to handle this issue, whether the shaming occurs online or in person.

One method is to say that you thank the party for their opinion and then say,"I think I'm good." You can also say that you appreciate positive input, and, perhaps, post this on your blog or social media profile.

If negativity persists, one can always unfriend or block those who are being impolite. Experts say that these types of comments are usually given because the person is insecure about his or her own parenting skills and telling someone else what he or she should do, makes them feel a little better about themselves.

CBS-TV, Lansing, Mich., reports that Robyn Gobbel, a licensed clinical social worker says:

 "We see that on the Internet, we see that on Facebook, we see that in our private play groups that we have." The Texas therapist says it's a learned behavior. "We were shamed when we were raised. All of us were. As a culture we have to stop using shame as a way to stop bad behavior or make ourselves feel better."

Gobbel writes these three simple words on a piece of paper for the kids she counsels, "No hurting others".

Jenny G. Perry, writing on the Huffington Post Blog on Parenting, has a few things to say about mommy-shaming. She wonders why women keep undermining other women just because they make different choices. She is a working mom, except she does her working at home.

She knows that women who work away from home sometimes think that mothers who work at home are not, for some reason, authentic working women. Some work-at-home moms probably believe that mothers should stay at home to nurture their children. Perry has neither of these opinions.

She suggests that everyone should knock it off. No one knows another person's true story, especially those who are leaving a comment on someone's blog. Anyway, she adds, it is not a competition. Women could be changing the world if they weren't spending so much time judging and defending.

Perry summarizes her feelings about mommy-shaming by saying:

"We are sisters of this world raising a collective group of youth that we all want to have happy lives. The best foundation we can give them is to be loving towards others. How can we expect to not raise bullies if we are secretly being chatty, judgmental, superficial people? We are better than that. Let others live their life and just rock yours the best you can."

09 23, 2014
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