An Interview with Debra J. Slover: Growing A Unique Garden

LeadershipGardenLegacy.com

4.21.10 - Michael F. Shaughnessy - The funding for our youth leadership program had ended and I was feeling a little lost. While in transition and starting my own training and development company, I spent some time leading an adult leadership program for another company.

An Interview with Debra J. Slover: Growing A Unique Garden

Michael F. Shaughnessy

Eastern New Mexico University

Portales, New Mexico

1)   Debra , you have written a charming, wonderfully illustrated book about leadership. What led you to write this charming book?

The funding for our youth leadership program had ended and I was feeling a little lost. While in transition and starting my own training and development company, I spent some time leading an adult leadership program for another company. I noticed something remarkably similar between leading programs for youth and adults. Developing true leadership had more to do with helping people express themselves authentically than providing skill, tips, and techniques for leading others. The authentic expression emerges from a unique purpose and aim and that is when the true leader inside blossoms.

One day I came up with the acronym U.N.I.Q.U.E. while working on an email to my coaches in the program I was leading. The thought occurred to me, to lead simply means to guide and direct and leadership is the action a leader takes. What kind of action was I taking besides moaning and groaning about my lost career? But was it lost or was I lost? They can take away my funding, and take away my office but NO ONE can take away my knowledge and passion for leadership development. In that moment I declared I would compile all I learned from working with kids and adults into a book called U.N.I.Q.U.E. It would help people, young and old, find their own unique brand of leadership expression. That began my writing and publishing journey with U.N.I.Q.U.E. Growing the Leader Within for adults.

When the adult book was complete, I met for coffee with a former colleague to share it with her. An elementary teacher, she was adamant that we needed this for kids. While I knew the information would be useful for them, I was more concerned about the adults, since they create the fertile ground or rocky soil for children to grow and learn. She offered to test the Leadership Garden metaphor with a group of students to determine the earliest age where they could grasp the concept. My original intention was to develop a series of kid’s book where Hugh and Annabelle, the main characters, would go out and meet children. However, it became apparent that what we needed next was an adaptation for kids of the adult book so they could learn together.

We went to work on adapting the adult book and produced U.N.I.Q.U.E. KIDS: Growing My Leadership Garden almost three years later.

2)  Why leadership- why did you choose this topic?

I suspect my perspective on leadership and passion for empowering personal leadership began on the day my mother died by suicide. I was 23 and fresh out of college. I vowed that day not to lose site of myself as she had done. I carried that notion into my teaching career and wanted my students to be known and heard for who they are inside, regardless of their circumstances or social stature. And I wanted them to be responsible and empowered to lead the life they desired. 

Even as a child, I seemed to find myself in some kind of leadership role. However, I seldom ran for any office or top position in an organization and most of the time I ended up in the role by default, as I would call it. Through the years, I began to notice something interesting about the word leadership. Having a title that denotes someone in charge with responsibility is the traditional notion of leadership. It opens doors otherwise unavailable. This became apparent, when I took a new job at Oregon State University. I was a novice in my new position, yet, I was treated with more authority by virtue of a job title and my association with the University.

That seemed strange to me. In my world, leadership had little to do with a job, title, or position and was more a way of life that expresses your imagination, purpose, and goals you want to achieve. Leadership was also about making a difference. I felt those without the titles are leaders too and I integrated that concept into our youth program. Our students were not always the designated leaders from the schools, and in fact, some of our students even had learning disabilities, but each had passion and a unique contribution to give to the program.

Therefore, you could say I have had a passion for empowering leadership in life for most of my adult life. Through the years, I concluded that when given the recognition as a leader, the necessary skills to lead a thriving life, and the opportunity to practice leadership, a profound difference could be made in families, schools, and communities and ultimately the planet. That then became the opening of my books and the basis of the Leadership Garden Legacy:

Every person is a unique seed in the world’s garden.

Each seed grows a leader from which everything blossoms.

Imagine the future of the planet if we nurture each leader to sprout greatness.

3)  Who did the illustrations for the book? They are sublime and precious!

Thank you for acknowledging her work since is it well deserved. My illustrator is Darlene Warner, a talented woman who has spent 30 years honing her craft as a commercial artist, art teacher, and trained composite artist. I believe it was her composite art training that was her advantage on this project. Many artists can produce amazing work from their own visual imagery. To be able to capture another’s imagery takes the ability to listen and see beyond the obvious.

I had a visual image of children as precious little seeds in the world’s human garden when I came up with the quote for a collective Leadership Garden^® Legacy.

Darlene was able to bring the entire farm and all the characters to life. Her attention to detail took much longer than we both anticipated, but it was worth it to allow her talent to shine. She jokes she should write a book about drawing sheep’s feet, since she drew them a thousand times, even in her sleep.

4)  You seem to have chosen a literary vehicle for your book- that of a tour. Was this a conscious decision?

Yes. I began with the acronym U.N.I.Q.U.E. (Understanding, Nurturing, Inventive, Quality, Unstoppable, Expression) as a personal journey for leadership development. I was playing around with different versions. I suggested to my husband that I could call it YOUnique. He balked and said, “You might as well call it EWEnique.” The light bulb when off. “That’s it, a lost sheep,” I exclaimed. “Who hasn’t felt lost at times? It will be a journey back home to find your unique leader inside.”

Next, I began looking for a name for the sheep and stumbled across Hugh, meaning heart, mind, or spirit. That too rang a bell, since our two-year-old granddaughter couldn’t pronounce her letters correctly and would say, “Grandpa will hugh help me?”  

Since the main purpose was to provide a fresh view of leadership, I knew it had to be a process you undertake throughout your life. It is easy to get lost in all the chaos of life and circumstances in which you have no control. Our tools are designed to help you get back on your path of unique leadership.

That is why there are two parts. Part 1 provides the background for the Leadership Garden metaphor and Part 2 the U.N.I.Q.U.E. tour.

5)  Let’s go through your garden and explore some of its robust riches- why do you have to understand the field in which seeds of leadership are planted?

First, as with any garden, the conditions of the soil in which you plant the seeds determine how it grows. The same is true of the human garden. The two conditions I discuss are survival and thriving . . . aka the rocky soil or fertile ground for leadership to flourish. The condition is not just on the outside environment but your internal environment. How you think, how you feel, and how you behave all play a key role in how you express your leadership.

Next, are four leader behaviors to cultivate; visualize, organize, harmonize, and energize. We all possess some degree of these behaviors and the key is to understand these behaviors are not fixed. Behavior is how you act, what you do, and who you think you are in the moment. So much of behavior is automatic and without conscious thought. By understanding the survival and thriving tendencies of each of the four leader behaviors and your balance of them, you gain visual awareness about who you think you are and how you behave. This helps you begin to lead a life that makes the difference you desire. It also helps you begin to understand the behaviors of others, too.

6)  What is the role of nurturing? Is it related to mentoring?

The role of nurturing is to love and care for self and others and is related to mentoring with one distinction. A mentor is a wise and trusted counselor or teacher. In this case, nurturing your own leadership is the key. Without love for self and responsibility for your behavior, it makes loving and caring for others more difficult. Therefore, the focus is on the six leader-friendly gardening practices you can use to empower yourself and those around you. They are:

·        Be nonjudgmental. Forcing your opinion or personal values on someone else is toxic to your garden. It also takes their love and support away from you.

·        Do not enable. If you look the other way when you know a behavior is harmful, it is the same as condoning the action. Separating the behavior from the person allows loving thoughts and communication about the undesirable behavior.

·        Use empathy. Really listening to others lets them know you care and will help you understand how others think and feel, and why they behave the way they do. This creates a bridge between your gardens.

·        Prune gossip. Saying unkind things about someone when they are not around hurts both your Leadership Gardens. You also lose your personal power and trust with others.

·        Eliminate blame. Holding others at fault for something you took part in is a more severe form of gossip and takes away your personal power.

·        Eradicate victimization. Picking on others is harmful to everyone. Thinking of yourself a victim also steals your own power. 

These may be the most challenging aspects of all the principles and practices I outline in both the adult and children’s books. They address the root causes of much of the friction we see today in families, schools, communities, business, government, and even some faith institutions . . . and why I placed them in the heart of the book.

7)  What are some of the elements of a “quality yard”?

Integrity, the “golden egg” of leadership, requires being true to yourself and honoring your word. There are several attributes necessary for thriving leadership that relate to integrity: communication, cooperation, respect, responsibility, and trust. A major facet of this section is that it connects back to the four leader behaviors. Once you have a unique purpose and aim in mind, you can rebalance your leader behaviors with conscious thought and practice. It’s really an exercise in learning how to achieve goals with intention.

8)  What should kids be learning in your unstoppable pasture?

They will be learning how to move through the circle of commitment: declare, act, complete, and celebrate. They will also become aware of where they stop based upon their automatic leader behaviors. The concept here is to understand the importance of honoring your word even when things get tough. As humans, we too often commit to things in order to look good, fit in, or make promises we don’t intend to keep. The essence of this section is to remain steadfast to your unique purpose and aim.

In the adult version, I share how I almost stopped writing the book. It became more than I had bargained for and I had to true myself up repeatedly to complete. This little voice in my head kept saying, “I don’t want to and you can’t make me” just like a child’s voice. Except in my case, no one was making me - except me. I had to remove my doubts and fears to continue, which are the fundamental stops for most people when they commit to something new, undertake the unfamiliar, or face a circumstance they do not know how to handle.

9)  Why a leadership development book for kids? What are the parent’s role and what is the role of the school in leadership development?

Personal leadership development begins almost from birth. We just do not view it that way when we consider leadership a function of a job, position, or title. Leadership in life is essential and children need to learn the skills of personal responsibility for how they think, feel, and behave early. They also need to be given the opportunity to practice these skills at home and in school. Most importantly, they need to know that they matter and do have a reservoir of internal power to make a unique difference in the world.

Families and schools are what I call an empowerment market. This includes parents, grandparents, teachers, and administrators who desire to bring out the best in all people. Empower means to endow with ability. There is no greater investment we can make than to endow our children with the power to be a thriving leader in life.

For children, home and/or school are either fertile ground or rocky soil for their leadership to grow. The “No Child Left Behind” emphasis on academic achievement makes this kind of leadership development even more critical. The whole child needs nurturing in order to learn, achieve, and reach their full potential. Children act out or shut down when they are scared, uncertain, or feel helpless. To help them move powerfully through those times is the greatest gift we can give them.

10)  How can interested others get a copy of this book? Who would you recommend it for?

The book is available on Amazon.com and other major online stores as well our website store: www.leadergardenpress.com.

Through our online store, we also offer discounts for members of our Leadership Garden^® Registry. Those who wish to order in bulk can contact: info@leadergardenpress.com. In my local area, it is available at the OSU Bookstore on campus and Grassroots Bookstore in Corvallis, or p’shaws cards and gifts in Albany, Oregon. Any bookstore can order it through Ingram.

I recommend the book for children ages 8-12 that may be having trouble with their self-worth and confidence, and children who want to make a difference with others.

I would also recommend the adult materials for anyone in the empowerment market. It is critical that adults do the work to create fertile ground for our children to flourish. It will serve no purpose to try to teach children these principles and practices if they are planting their tender little seeds of leadership in rocky soil.

11)  Do you have a web site? What about the publisher?

Yes. LeadershipGardenLegacy.com. Our website outlines what we offer to individuals, families, schools, communities, and businesses in the way of products, services, and grant opportunities.

Our goal is to seed and nurture 11 million Leadership Gardens by 11/11/2011, and we have an online registry for those who want to help co-create a thriving future. My ultimate dream is to create a collective worldwide legacy of thriving leadership where the six leader-friendly gardening practices are the norm.

The publisher is Leader Garden Press a division of my company Leadership Garden^® Enterprises LLC that includes Leadership Garden^® Services and the Leadership Garden^® Fund.

12)  What have I neglected to ask?

I think you covered it. I would like to thank you for the opportunity to share my passion, vision, and brag a little about Darlene’s talent. I trust that your interest will make a difference for families and schools who are looking for a U.N.I.Q.U.E. way to develop leadership now and in the future.