Taking a 'tough love' approach to parenting increases the chances a child will grow into a well-rounded, successful adult, a think-tank said.

Taking a 'tough love' approach to parenting increases the chances a child will grow into a well-rounded, successful adult, a think-tank said yesterday.

Combining warmth and discipline means youngsters are more likely to develop skills such as application, self-discipline and empathy, according to a study.

The Demos report found these traits were shaped during the preschool years  -  more often as the result of 'tough love' parenting  -  and regardless of whether parents were rich or poor. 

Nanny knows best: Jo Frost. Take a 'tough love' approach to parenting increases the chances a child will grow into a successful adult

However, it found this style of parenting was more commonly exercised by parents who were better-off and married.

How educated the parents were and whether the mother breastfed until six months were also powerful influencing factors in shaping a child's personality.

The report leaves the Left-wing think-tank  -  which has been highly influential in Labour thinking over the past 12 years  -  on the same side of the parenting debate as champions of tough love, such as Channel 4 Supernanny Jo Frost.

The Demos research found that the children of mothers who take drugs, drink heavily, suffer depression or who come from violent homes are particularly vulnerable to parental influence.

The study, which was commissioned by the Government's equality watchdog, said the parents of children who do badly are 'disengaged' and lacking application, self-discipline and sensitivity to their families.

The research was based on the Millennium Cohort Study, which charts 9,000 families since the turn of the century. Demos's Building Character report, paid for by the Equality and Human Rights Commission, said the survey showed how children of married parents are twice as likely to be among the 20 per cent who do best at school.

However, children cared for by lone parents and step-parents are three times as likely as their classmates to be in the bottom 20 per cent.

Youngsters from co-habiting households are 66 per cent more likely to be among the worst performers academically.

Demos said the real cause of the performance of children was the attiabilitytude of a parent. 'Due to pre-natal conditions (consumption of drugs or alcohol, depression, or if the mother is in a high stress or violent environment) some infants are predisposed to being particularly vulnerable to both good and bad parental influence,' its report said.

It said 'disengaged' parents are more likely among low income groups, leaving their children exposed to poor pre-natal conditions, bad parenting and the impact of poverty.

Authors Jen Lexmond and Richard Reeves identified three qualities of character that are most important for a child's development. 

These are: application, the ability to stick to tasks; self-regulation, the to avoid temptation and recover from setbacks; and empathy, or sensitivity to other people. The report said: 'There is some evidence that lower-income households face more difficulty in incubating these character capabilities.

 

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'But the most important influence is the quality of parenting.

'Confident, skilful parents adopting a "tough love" approach to parenting, balancing warmth with discipline, seem to be most effective in terms of generating these key character capabilities.'